2's company...

Birds do it, bee's do it even the Inner Party's O'Brien does it. And it seems that everyone was doing it last Friday night.

LadySnapper was fiddling with a Canadian/Japanese lady in an abandoned bus in the wooded hills of Nagano, JohnnyAwestruck was no doubtedly fucking/banging girl #749 in his 11months here, TheImmigrant was stashed away in the back corridors on the second floor of an almost derelict building with his new beau, BritRapper was being handcuffed by his kinky hostess, ForkDawg was spooning a different hostess, BrassBalls pummeled the life out of his waifish thin FUTURE WIFE, DerFuhrer pumped his hate missile into GroupD's passage to smurfdom, T committed his almost daily routine of necrophilia on TheCorpse and I'm sure even The QueenOfCruft was shoving a dismantled hard drive into her sloppy drive. There was a hint of lust in the air last Friday on the streets of Iwate, and beyond. Can any one of these couples claim to be in love, apart from the necrophiliac, with their disposable nail-painting, menstruating, hair-straightening milk-squirters? Not in the slightest and that's not being cynical in any shape or form. There's nothing wrong with wanting to release the goods into the opposition’s box whether it be indoors, up a tree or in a confession box. Everyone gets off on a different platform; I got off at a very different platform last Friday, along with some friends.

The World Cup parties were in full swing and myself, BritRapper, TheImmigrant and his latest lady, FuckingSalaryman, ImAFuckingSlaryManToo and Sentence:Marriage in one of the usual haunts. Five hours of nomihodai ensued as we shifted from one bar to another, skillfully avoiding a member of the Inner-party (PaintDryingBoreQueen) in the process. We lost the two salariemen to their weak Japanese livers and TheImmigrant to his Latin American passions blazing to the fore. It was three men blinded by the booze till the final whistle of the second game of the world cup. I've no idea leaving the bar but was reported to be playfully head-butting Sentence:Marriage outside while he bowed over in a 90degree droop. BritRappers hostess was mildly amused at the three heaps of poo that had assembled outside the izakaya she was in. BritRapper swiftly took her home for some S&M while Sentence:Marriage crawled to a bus-stop and slept there for the night while I tried to make it back to the FuckingSalaryman apartment.

When I called from outside his place he ran straight down to let me in, while he was naked and giggling like a school kid that's just tickled his first fanny. I thought that was a bit strange but put it down to the beer causing sever hallucinations and rode the elevator to his apartment. We actually ended up at ImAFuckingSalarieManToo's place where there was an amateur porno being made. CockSuckinSchoolNurse was atop ImAFuckingSalarieManToo’s Japanese manhood whilst FuckingSalaryman was shooting it at all angles with his digital camera before nudging in to nibble on her nipples. I was giggling like a guy who's just walked in on an amateur porno being shot for the first time.

Soon I was naked, too. Two Japanese guys, one Japanese girl and a hairy Gaijin internationalising at grass roots level. At one point she as atop ImAFuckingSalarieManToo's splooge stick with mine in her mouth and FuckingSalaryMan's in her hand, cocks everywhere. Photos to send home to the folks were being clicked off like a Prada fashion shoot, only classier. I have no idea how long this madness lasted for, but what I do know is that that girl has a bigger appetite for sex than DerFuhrer has for killing Jews. She flipped, moaned, groaned and gurgled and smiled for the cameras at every opportunity. In the morning she woke before everyone else and left to enjoy her day after being gang-banged by three guys.

I don't think it was ever on my list of things to do and I'd never have initiated it but having said that it was one of the funniest nights of my life. The giggles and grunts in that room won't leave my head for a long time, nor will the worrying image of the two Salary men’s penises in full battle mode.

My attitudes towards the ironically named 'fairer-sex' have changed drastically this year on JET. A spate of misogyny fueled by inner-conflicts and cynicism left me short on the lust stakes. I still have immense problems with their inner workings but have become more tolerant in allowing their glossy manes lure me into their slit-pits. Why can't I take notes, or keep a video diary, whilst sleeping with the enemy?

***NO TOUCHING OF EACH OTHERS PENISES TOOK PLACE, IF IT DID HAPPEN IT WAS MERELY ACCIDENTAL AND NO GAYNESS RESULTED FROM IT***